Thursday, April 16, 2009

Just agree with me!

So I'm talking with my friend. I complain about flying coach and not getting business all the time. No leg space, crappier food, too many kids, blah blah; you know the drill. She starts, "but you know, you should try and get the front-most row seats or one near the emergency exit. They have more leg room... blah blah". But why? I'm just bitching. I feel better when you agree with me.

This is pretty much like when people give you alternatives when you don't ask for them. For instance, you say "man that [insert hot bird/celebrity name] is damn hawt!" and they say "yeah but have you seen [insert OTHER supposedly hot bird/celebrity name]? Can you please help me be faithful and go pervy on just the one bird at a time?

Gah. Just agree with me god dammit!

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

Of tragedies and extras

It's a sad day. It's also a tragic day. It's a sad day because a bus full of brilliant sportsmen had to endure a traumatic experience that they never should have had to. It's a sad day because family, friends and fans of theirs were glued to the TV on the third day of a test match for a very wrong reason. It's a sad day because it'll most probably make an already brewing hosting problem much worse for the sub-continent cricketing nations. But that's not why it's a tragic day.

It's tragic because today, the one last standing bastion of human decency was shaken to the core. I belong to the 'humans are evil, law and social norms (a.k.a diet-law) keep us decent' school of thought. However we have traveled so far down the path of civilization, it's understandable that in varying degrees of stubbornness we cling on to ideals of human decency. So much that even when terrorism -the plague of our generation- hasn’t spared leaders, clergy, artistes, women and children in its mad path of destruction, we believed that the sportsmen were untouchable. Because where politics, religion, art and even love failed miserably, in the greatest parody of all sports was our saviour in uniting communities. And then they went and hit the white dove with bullets, grenades and rockets. Oh how we wanted to forget Munich.

Now to the extras. There's no doubt that much will be talked about the Sri Lankan cricket team, the target of the attack and also the impact of the attack on the sport and the political environment. So it should be. However I want to make sure that one other significant part of this attack gets a fair mention. The ones who fought and some of whom died to save the others. I mean absolutely no disrespect in comparing the security personnel who had to pay the greatest price of all to extras in a movie. On the contrary, anyone who steps in to protect ones that are not their own is a class A hero of mine. It's just that I can't help but think of all the innocent bystanders who get thrown around in street chases, all the other people in vehicles that crash out in car chases and all the cops who die in shoot-outs in movies. I'm constantly disturbed by how all that is justified and forgotten by the saving of the hero. But that's a story for another day. While it maybe naive to imagine a flattened hierarchy of social importance, we should acknowledge and appreciate the ones who saved the day. Respect.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

The MOABAs - Mother of All Blog Awards

The supreme council of all things bloggy is proud to present the MOABAs to honor the outstanding achievements of our member bloggers and acknowledge their contribution towards the advancement and the benefitment of our grand civilization. This year in an attempt to put the 'mock' back in democracy, the council has decided to let you the lesser bloggers nominate potential candidates for each of the awards. The categories are as follows;

Best 'body part for a profile pic' award.
Any body part photo-shopped or not will qualify. More points will be granted for pics of naughty bits.

Oh my god it's not a boy/girl award
This is where you follow a blog for weeks or months before that defining moment hits where you go 'holy shit' and then re-read some of the older posts nodding to yourslef 'ah that makes more sense now'. Longer it took for the revelation, more points granted. (An attempt to e-mail flirt met by an 'I'm a boy/girl you creep' response will also qualify as a defining moment.)

Longest title award.
The absolute number of words in the title as well as the title to body length ratio will be considered.

Unintentionally funniest blog award
Please attach excerpts as evidence

StatCounter award for the most visits
Please note that this is not for the most number of visits to a blog by the readers but the most number of visits to the stat counter by the blogger.

'Oh my eyes' award for the best template
More links, more frames, puke inducing color schemes, more side panel stuff will all attract more points. Girly and ghey colors will get special points. (Disclaimer: Certain words used in the description are used purely in their aesthetic sense. The council strongly condemns any sexist, racialist and sexualist behavior.)

Best meme (a.k.a guilty pleasure) award
'Best' can be interpreted as most interesting, most annoying, most absurd, WTF etc. The number of points to be written as a part of the meme, number of bloggers to be tagged and actual number of bloggers participated will be considered. More juicy information the meme manages to get the bloggers to reveal the better.

The NGO chicks' choice award for the best arm chair politician
Hair splitting arguments and anal-ysis about the war, the CFA, the sickonimic situation of the country, MR's moustache, Praba's designer cyanide capsule etc. on a continuous basis will qualify a blog for this award. The ability to generate frequent comment war sequences will be considered.

Boo-fucking-hoo award
This is for the whiniest posts during the past year. Given out considering the social service value where vast numbers of readers constantly uplift themselves thinking "and I thought my life was bad".

Most random topics award
That beautiful ability to churn out posts on a variety of topics ranging from nose boogers, use of dirty socks as weapons of mass destruction, family encounters, alien attacks, movie reviews, ice cream flavors of the season etc within a week or even a day will be rewarded with this.

And the final award of the night;
The best shape for a collection of blogs award
The council has realized the potential benefits of venturing beyond a sphere as it's official shape especially after observing the easy-to-pack-ability of box shaped items. Creativity and practicality will be considered equally important.

Please submit your nominations for the consideration of the council before the 31st of Feb. The council will announce the winners during the following week.

Friday, December 12, 2008

So this is...

...the scene eh? Wandered on to ach after a long time to see a lot of people coming out with what they did or what happened to them during the past year. It's been a while since the last post and I've got some time in hand so thought of jotting down a few things that I remember of the year that was 2008.

- Well, did the least amount of blogging since the time this started. Only 10 posts (not including this one) for the entire year. In fact, dropped off the whole blog scene all together. Hardly went through my regular reads let alone explore the new ones (and there are quite a few it seems). Can't really think why. It just happened that way. Nobody will probably read this :)

- Met me 'aiya' after three years in London. He's still his super-self.

- Performed on stage for the first time and did it once more. Felt fucking good even though it was for a small crowd. Wish I could make a living out of it. Really do.

- Consumed an insane amount of alcohol. Smoked a lot more than ever before. Partied a lot more than I thought I would following last year. No regrets.

- Bought me first vehicle. Gah I louwe it. You should see it. You'd louwe it too. Stay away! It's all MINE!

- Met and befriended a bunch of damn interesting and hilariously funny bloggers. You know who you are :)

- Traveled the farthest in support of a friend. Saw Tiesto again while I was there. Not even close to the first time but still was pretty awesome.

- After all these years of playing, had my first major injury and had some minor surgery done. Happened at the worst possible time. Watching from the sidelines sucks ass. Joint injuries FTL.

- For the first time, didn't see a single club rugby game! Good year in the international sporting scene. I mean the Giants won the Superbowl, Celts won the NBA, United won a double and Hamilton won the F1. If only Boston had won the world series.

- Had the worst year so far at work. Gah.

- Grew quite restless. Became more convinced that life doesn't really have a meaning or serve any real purpose. Detaching myself from the world, looking at it as if watching a giant cctv monitor and thinking 'what the fuck are these people doing' became a common occurrence.

I'm sure there was a lot more. Gah!

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Colombo blues

Every once in a while I get to missing the Big Apple a little bit more than I usually do. More often than not this happens after a night out in Colombo. Following a few weeks' break in April/May, I've been out a lot. Few times every week. However it just does not seem to get any better. Last Wednesday night was one of those 'oh my god, what am I doing here' night outs. Yes we did end up staying out at Zanzi till 4.30 in the morning but that's hardly an indication of how good or bad the place was. Some of the gripes I have about a typical night out in Colombo are;

1. Having to deal with morons/fucktards. These are idiots who think they own the damn place or own the damn city and are out looking for the most trivial of reasons to start a fight. God I could write a book about them, but I won't.

2. Having to protect the girls from these morons/fucktards. I hate ending up as a bodyguard for an entire night. I hate getting into fights because of girls, it's lame. Unfortunately though, I hate the girls I'm with being groped at every turn, being photographed against their will, having to say 'no' a fifteen hundred times before a single fucktard gives up trying to grind with them and so on more, so I end up doing this anyway. And I hate it.

3. Not being able to chat up a random, unknown, cute girl at a bar or a club. I can count the number of times I've done this in this city. For one, the girls are so very defensive, but I guess this is partly because too many morons have tried to work their 'charm' on the girls in the past. However the part I hate most is the 'gal looks' one gets from the girl's friend girls and the friend guys, the possibility of an over protective friend guy picking a fight with you, the possibility of an over protective boyfriend shooting you etc. I'm not being a hypocrite in saying this having written point number 2 of this list. There's a big difference between forcing oneself on another and having a civilized conversation.

4. The lack of options to be at. Colombo has what, four or five places at most you can go to. It gets boring.

5. The same music. The same set is played for month after month so much so that one can almost guess the next song. Some of the tracks would be so cool if it was 1996. There's also the tendency to play the crowd favorites over and over again during the same night. It gets stale and there's so much of music out there. Sigh.

6. The same people. I dunno. Some people I know love the fact that when they walk in to a bar, a club or a pub they know half the people there. I'm not one of them. Although I like to have a 'home bar' where I'd know some of the people there, I want to be able to walk into a place and be anonymous. I like to be left alone with my partner or my friends or just myself. I'd like to see and meet new people. I'd like to do things and not have half the city know about it in the morning. Tough ask in this city.

End of the day, the pure need to get out drives me to the same old places with the same old problems over and over again. It sucks though. It really does.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008


Yes, it's been a week since Hikka Beach Fest happened but MAN, that was just awesome! I've seen a posts on the Hikka weekend and some of those bloggers seem not have had a good experience which is unfortunate. Yours truly on the other hand had a blast.

That weekend was all about preparation. Unlike our usual last minute job, this trip was planned well ahead. Due to that and because someone was able to pull a few strings, we managed to get rooms at Coral Gardens which proved to be damn convenient. We also took a proper sound system along with plenty of music. Oh and yeah, a lital bit o' alcohol.

Well, this is not gonna be some sort of a review but just a note to say that we had a fantastic time. Got there on Firday evening. Quick shower, dinner and the drinking started. One of the rooms (obviously the one that was occupied by Spectral and 'C' the other single guy of the crowd!) was converted to a chillout/party lounge. After lotsa moosic, alkie and smokes(ahem) we headed out to the rave thing. The place was jam packed but not in a crazy bad way. Quite a few local boys were around which kinda sucked a bit but plenty of Clolombians were around to make up for that. Much eye candy around as well. Ran into so many known people but to-date can’t remember half the stuff I told them (shudder). Had an awesome time, but headed back to the hotel after a while as some of the people wanted to go back a little early. Half an hour at the hotel and C goes 'Machang shall we go back?' and who am I to argue with such a splendid idea? So the two of us head back with two of the girls who were up for it. The party ended just before day break but some of the crowd moved to Mambo and we followed suit. The music was pretty good there but we finally called it quits and walked back to the hotel at around 7 in the morning. For the first time ever we were the first at b'fast.

Caught a few hours of sleep on Saturday morning but sleeping at the party room is never a good idea. Started drinking again. Lunch, more drinking and general misbehavior, stroll on the beach, more drinking and general misbehavior, dinner, more.... do you see a pattern? Saturday night at the rave was pretty much the same although we had to go through a bit of drama courtesy of one of the girls that was hanging out. Much had been said about the dancers and well, they were kinda good I think. They were staying at the same hotel as we were and there were rumors of them either skinny dipping or being topless in the pool on Friday morning. Unfortunately there was no repeat performance since apparently someone had complained. (Sigh). Saturday rave ('rave' being very loosely defined) went on till after sunrise.

Sunday afternoon was spent with some superb chillout music and relaxing. The journey back was thankfully quite smooth without any traffic jams and such.

All in all it was a great weekend. (Does five hours of sleep for the entire weekend tell you something?) I thought the key to having a good time in Hikka that weekend was one to be with a good crowd and also being able to have a party on your own without relying entirely on the 'rave' for entertainment. After all that craziness (and all the partying running up to that weekend) I have decided to take a little break. And then last night happened. Oh well, I’ll get there somehow.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Tonight on the road I realized....

... that I ALWAYS get stuck behind stupid ass mother-fuckers who drive at 25-30 kmph (I'm not exaggerating!), especially on single fucking lane roads where it's impossible to over-take another vehicle for the longest fucking time.

... that some fucking morons would get to their destinations much faster if they walked or if they got there in a coffin.

... that I need a free pass to run over fucktards on motorbikes.

...that inconsiderate mother-fucking bastards on the road should all die a painful fucking death.

... that one's 'moron tolerance threshhold' is very low when one is driving home late after a stressful day at work knowing one will have to cancel plans to work on a holiday AND when Muse is playing in the background.

... that my life expectancy can't be that high.

Stupid fucking assholes! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Okay, now for some alcohol therapy. Sigh.